


Mourn the dead

by Solume



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Feels, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Canonical Character Death, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, F/M, Female Hange Zoë, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:07:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25369603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solume/pseuds/Solume
Summary: Sometimes it's better not to feel, otherwise you'll just explode.[SPOILERS THIRD SEASON]
Relationships: Hange Zoë & Erwin Smith, Hange Zoë & Levi, Hange Zoë/Levi, Levi & Erwin Smith, Moblit Berner & Hange Zoë
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45





	Mourn the dead

**Author's Note:**

> It's my first (public) attempt at writing in English ! Hope it's not too bad, I wrote this at something like 3 am so you can guess the quality-
> 
> Anyway, have some angsty LeviHan !

It was usually Moblit's job to put up with Hanji and her quirks. But the issue was : the man died and therefore couldn't save the new Commander of the Survey Corps from herself like he used to since he got in the military.

Levi didn't thought much of Moblit's job at first, back when he didn't knew much of Hanji either. Now, after years, and years spent together he realized how tiring and stressful watching the scientist must have been. It was really sad that Moblit's only rest from his task was obtained in death. And sadder even that this very task caused it.

They really could have used one experimented soldier like him, whilst the almost entierty of their forces had passed away and the last ones left were the brats of the former 104th. Levi also was beginning to feel the weariness caused by a life of battle, and when his only support was Hanji, he feared a little what future would bring.

The scientist was strong, no doubt, but she was also miserable and so, so worn out by grief and her brand new title. It was starting to be worrisome.

As veterans they both had seen countless deaths of people they often had cared about. But Erwin and Moblit's passing away was a brand new type of pain that neither of them knew how to deal with.

So they tried to forget, to erase the feeling, if they couldn't cope with it. Levi focused on training and administrative tasks. Hanji attempted to soothe the kids and threw herself into work. But it wasn't really an efficient way to handle the issue.

Sometimes he caught her calling for Moblit in the middle of writing a report, asking for a specific book, and then pausing, as she realised that there was nobody to answer to that name anymore. Now, before she sat at her desk, he always made sure to bring a pile of scrolls and books she would maybe have a need for on it. That way Hanji could peacefuly, if for no more than a few hours, forgot about her pain.

Erwin's death was too difficult to process, so Levi didn't even try to adress the matter. He just went with his life, focused on the promise he made, and refused to even think for a second about what he would do after everything was over. That was an implicit rule within the Corps : never think about the future, for you may not be granted one.

Still, it was quite painful. He slept less than an hour now, haunted by horrendous nightmares, and all his time was dedicated to care for Hanji the way Moblit did before, so she at least could not let herself go. 

If he wasn't there to watch over the scientist, she could easily faint from lack of sleep in the middle of the dining hall, or let her candle lit near the paperwork, and needless to say the additional amount of work she was required to do now didn't helped her to bathe more often.

Hanji was no Erwin, and he was no Moblit, but what choice did they had if to try and fill the shoes of those precious comrades who were now lost forever ? The Survey Corps needed a Major. Hanji needed someone to fix her mistakes and blunders. They both were in the eyes of the former 104th the last mentors to rely on.

They simply could not appear frail, nor take the time to mourn the dead, for their grief was useless to the Corps.

Several years went that way, with them just obssessed with the task that was now their, sometimes sharing tea in the middle of the night, looking into each other's eyes and silently wondering what they had become. They never spoke about the old times. They never spoke about the hole in their hearts. They never wept, even once, for their old friends.

But despite never mentionning it, the pain was still there. The cold hands of the ones that were lost still on their shoulders. Their hollow voices still singing macabre songs into their ears. And the guilt of just being alive, each day passing, became more and more unbearable.

They no longer found confort in accomplishing their duty, only in each other's company. And so they slip out of the roles they had played for the sake of the youngsters and took time to, for a few hours only, a night sometimes, retransform into just Levi and Hanji. Two soldiers of the Survey Corps.

To find themselves again, to hang onto life just a little more. The titans were gone but the fight was not over. They feared it never would. And the military needed them to do what they knew best : kill and survive.

One day Levi knew he would close his eyes to never open them again. He knew that Erwin and Moblit would perish a second time with him passing away. 

But he also knew that death was one of the only way to escape this rotten world for which he had fought with every last bit of strenght he had. For wich he gave everything he could, to help Erwin at first, and then to protect what he had found. A family, people he cherished. People he loved with a damaged heart.

So when he took his swords, the familiar weight of the cold metal against his palms sending shivers down his spine, and glanced at Hanji who was in the middle of the same ritual, he smiled. A sad, broken smile. But a smile nonetheless.

And she understood, mouthing a silent « Love You », before facing their ennemy with all the strenght and the calm resolve of a veteran, her only eye glowing with pride and a little bit of sadness.

This was the last time they breathed, and they knew it well. 

This was the day of their old comrades' second death. This was the day their body grew cold on the red-stained grass.

This was the day humanity lost their strongest and smartest soldiers.

This was the day they eventually cried.


End file.
